What smells like diahrea?

I left my home today at the crack of dawn.  I need to get a head start on some projects today and be done by 11:15am when Remi is dismissed from the absurd 1/2-day kindergarten she attends.  I'm seriously enjoying sipping my favorite coffee concoction (espresso, steamed chocolate milk) at The Black Cow and being productive.  Now I smell diahrea.  

Men in all shapes and sizes are lined up at the coffee counter and behind the coffee counter.  Any one of these "go-getters" or "slackers" here for either their commuting coffee or their first time-waster of the day could have brought this smell into the shop. But which one?

Is it the loser in baggy cargo shorts with ankle socks and a boring beige sweater?  Is it the man in a decent suit with a preppy bob that belongs on a tennis lover in CT? Who smells like diahrea??

And why can't I spend just one hour away from home without having to think about, wipe or smell feces?

Life is so cruel. Oh!  I bet it's THAT GUY with the tight khakis with front pleats, mild facial hair and glasses.  HE'S the one who smells like diahrea!  Ok, problem solved. As you were.